This girl is more easily done than said...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
