you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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