I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
