She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
