Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
