Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
