I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
