I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
