Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
