my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
