I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
