I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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