addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
