Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
