some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So. Much. Porn.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
