I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
