You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize