you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
