She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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