No more Irish car bombs ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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