I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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