I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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