I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
