ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
