quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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