apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
