bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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