would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
