did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
