whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
