Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
