Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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