at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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