"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
