Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
