Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
