meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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