just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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