Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
