There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize