How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
