just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
