Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize