you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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