I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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