Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
