I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
