All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
