Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"

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(647): View more from Ontario

She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy

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(817): View more from Texas

Do you have any booze?

(214): View more from Texas

Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.

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(310): View more from California

OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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(303): View more from Colorado

exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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(952): View more from Minnesota

OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"

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