Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
