YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
What a dumb baby whore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
