No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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