I got chris browned last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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