Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
