An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
