To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
