gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize