Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
