for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
