how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Welp...herpes.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
