I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think my moral compass just broke
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize