To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
