i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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