Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
