you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I woke up under a house in Key West
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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