whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
