He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
