Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
