Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
