Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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