if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
