I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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