wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
